


the price of being dedicated to your theme

by theycallme_ook



Category: Batman Beyond
Genre: Crack, Gen, Jokerz get dunked on, but TheCreativeCasseroles is a bad influence >:(, i said i wouldn't write anything till my mer fic was finished, let him be a feral little man, teef fic, terry goes crazy goes stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28796238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theycallme_ook/pseuds/theycallme_ook
Summary: After Dr. Cuvier's splicing racket is shut down, life in Neo Gotham goes back to normal.Well, normal for everyone except Terry McGinnis, apparently, because he's stuck with a little... toothy problem.
Relationships: Maxine Gibson & Terry McGinnis, Terry McGinnis & Bruce Wayne, Terry McGinnis/Dana Tan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	the price of being dedicated to your theme

The teeth. Of all the things that could've stuck around, it  _ had _ to be the teeth. It was now the morning after his unwilling foray into splicing and  _ he still had these stupid teeth _ . Really, it wasn’t the worst thing that could've stuck around. He was marginally glad he wasn’t stuck with the ears or the fur or something, but it was kinda overshadowed by his sheer  _ annoyance _ right now (which he had settled on after making it through all the other stages of grief.) His memories from his time stuck as a bat were still there, if a bit hazy, and he was glad it was over, but... it felt unfair to be stuck with the consequences of a splice job he hadn’t even signed up for. He had stayed the night in the cave to make sure he was stable- which he was, Mr. Wayne had pronounced him clear of any other side effects after a morning check-up, but now he had no idea what to do about this. Wayne had reminded him this wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened, and that the antidote was doing well for something the older man had whipped up himself over the course of the last week, and he could probably expect the teeth to be fixed by another dose, and, while that was reassuring, it didn’t help with the fact that they had used the last of their stock up last night and was going to be a whole  _ week _ before Wayne had another batch ready. Terry would steal some from Chimera if they had any, but it seemed they had been more interested in splicing people than they were un-splicing them.

Which left him here. Staring hopelessly into the mirror of a guest bathroom in Wayne Manor at 6:14 am at the honest-to-goodness  _ fangs _ his canines had elongated to. Wondering how on earth he was going to explain  _ this one _ to his mother. He ran his tongue over them again, something he hadn’t been able to stop doing since he’d accidentally bit his lip bloody while half asleep. It felt weirder than the time he’d gotten his braces off in ninth grade- he had made his tongue sore with how much time he’d spent feeling his newly smooth teeth then, and he had a feeling he was going to end up doing the same thing today.

He sighed.

It could’ve been worse, he supposed. 

He could’ve been stuck as a cat boy.

\--

Mr. Wayne was kind enough to provide him breakfast, which Terry liked to think of as an apology even though it probably wasn’t. They ate instant oatmeal, which went fine except for the part at the beginning where his spoon got caught on his lower ‘fangs’ which,  _ ow _ . Getting knocked on the teeth was never fun. Especially teeth as sensitive as these seemed to be, which Terry couldn't decide was due to the new-ness or the bat-ness. Either way, he made sure to open his mouth extra wide to avoid repeating that mistake, though he’s sure the old loon at the other end of the kitchen table would’ve enjoyed it, at the very least. He would’ve said something like ‘glad one of us is having fun’ too if it weren't for the  _ lisp _ they had discovered this morning as well. Human mouths weren’t really built to accommodate half inch long canines, it turned out, so instead settled for glaring harder at his oatmeal.

\--

After running home to grab a quick change of clothes and his computer, Terry made it to school, all the while trying to brainstorm a plausible cover story that would get him through the week. He may have hid in the bathrooms to avoid talking bumping into any of his friends, but thankfully he and Max shared first period, which he was planning on taking full advantage of to run his story by her.

She waved to him when he slipped in before the second bell. He shot her a close-lipped smile before sliding into the seat beside her and opened up his laptop.

“Heard you were pretty busy last night.” she said quietly after checking to make sure no one was paying attention.

“Yeah… about vat.” he muttered, pushing aside his lip to reveal a sharpened tooth.

Max’s eyes went wide.

“You got  _ spliced?” _ she hissed.

“Not on purpose.” he grumbled, except his ‘s’s sounded more like ‘f’s. He slumped down further in his seat.

“Not on pur- oh.”

“Mmhm.”

Max seemed to think things over for a second, tapping a finger on the ‘n’ key.

“There’s a way to fix it, right?”

“Yup. Boff iv working on it as we fpeak.”

“How long?”

“A week”

Max winced. “That uh, that sucks.”

Terry let his face fall into his hands. “I’m flagged.”

Max gave him a sympathy pat on the shoulder. “How’re you gonna explain this one?”

“I dunno. Doef running full tilt into a doorway and bufting my gumf and lipf so bad it hurtf to talk found realiftic?”

“Yeah, actually, that sounds good- just, don't open your mouth too wide or your mom’s gonna spiz.”

“Ok.” he sighed. This was gonna be a long week.

\--

“Terry?”

“Yeah mom?”

“Are you ok? You’ve been a bit quiet these past few days.”

_ Slag _ . he quickly hid his face in his phone. “Uh, yeah, mom. I’ve ju- I have this thing on my mind.”

“Like what?”

_ Slag. Slagging. Slaggit. uhh, uh, excuse! Quick! _

“I, uh, dad. I’ve been thinking about dad, a bit.” he said finally, careful to avoid words with hard ‘s’ sounds.

“Oh, honey.” crooned his mom, moving over to the couch to wrap him in a hug.

Crisis averted.

\--

“How are you, kid? I’ve been meaning to ask.” said commissioner Barbara Gordon, eyeing him carefully from the rooftop below the windowsill he was perched on. The police had just arrived to clear out an arms smuggling ring he had busted, the shipment being big enough that he’d decided to stick around to ensure their thoroughness.

“Fine.”

“Fine? No lingering desire to suck some poor soul’s blood?” said the commish with a smirk.

“Maybe~” said Terry through laughter.

The commish chuckled.

“Mr. Young doing ok?”

The lines around Mrs. Gordon’s eyes tightened a bit, but it must have just been general worry because she said “He’s fine, Batman. Told me to thank you for him next time I saw you.”

“Oh. Um. Glad I could help.”

The woman’s smile became unusually soft then, and when Terry glanced over at the progress being made on the warehouse, he decided it was probably time for him to go.

He stood and readied his wings for flight, but before he could launch the commissioner spoke one more time.

“Batman?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.” she said, gaze too intense to be passing on a simple message.

He smiled.

“Any time.”

And took off into the night.

\--

“Ter?” Dana said, plopping into the seat beside him during lunch.

“Hmm?”

“That lip still giving you trouble? It's been days.”

He nodded. “I fink I bruifd my gum.” he admitted (lied), picking at the skin of a grape moodily.

“Yikes.” said Dana, smile a bit too teasing to be genuinely sympathetic to his plight. “Guess that means no kisses, huh?”

That got Terry to pause his grape dissection. Dana was a cruel mastermind.

“Well...” he began, making a show of sounding thoughtful. “My cheek iv fine…”

Dana laughed.

“You got a doctor’s note to prove that, McGinnis?”

“What doctor doev’t know won't hurt ‘em.” he shot back with a smirk.

Dana did end up giving him a kiss, so he supposed this week wasn’t  _ all _ bad.

\--

Patrol was a bit strange. Thankfully, the suit had a function that covered his mouth and nose and was typically deployed when he needed to filter the air, but worked fine to hide his impromptu vampire cosplay. The cowl also had a voice modulator, because, anonymity, which he was now using to hide the fact that Batman had gained a speech impediment at the same time as Terry McGinnis.

Other than that things were normal. He made his nightly rounds, smacked criminals upside the head, helped a drunk person make it home and even got a hug from a child who told him he was their hero, which was hopelessly adorable. His little system worked just fine till the night before the antidote was ready, when a Joker he was fighting managed to land a lucky hit across his jaw and take out his modulator. It wasn’t the end of the world or anything, the suit dispersed most of the impact regardless, but when he went to retaliate with a ‘bet you couldn’t even make it into little league with a swing like that.’ what came out was “vet oo coun’t eben make it into little league with a fwing like vat.” and, because Jokerz were total dregs, they all burst out laughing.

“Aww!” crooned one. “You hit wittle bitty baby batsy! You should say sowwy, I bet his  _ feewings _ are huwt.”

“One more hit and he might develop a s-s-s-s-stutter, too!” cackled another with awful glee, because apparently Jokerz wanted to really lower the bar in  _ every conceivable way _ by making fun of people with disabilities.

And that? That did it. All at once, the frustration, worry, annoyance and anger that had built up over the course of the whole week came rushing in, pooling in the pit of his stomach and making him see  _ red _ . So, when that same twip went in for another hit, instead of retaliating, Terry dodged and got in close, disengaging his mouth cover just in time to-

“What the he-aAAAAA!”

Sink his very long,  _ very _ sharp teeth into the arm of an unsuspecting Joker.

“The  _ slag?” _

“Woah, hey!”

“What the-?”

The dreg’s buddies erupted into confusion, which quickly morphed into fear when the one he’d bitten managed to free themselves from his hold, revealing a gruesome row of bite marks that were bleeding profusely.

The four Jokerz stared at him in horror.

When he grinned, teeth on full display for the first time that week, the blood dripping from them was not his own.

“Might vant to get vat checked for rabief.” he growled, running his tounge over his top front teeth in a wickedly slow fashion before finishing with a  _ sharp _ (heh) grin. “Juft in case.”

They ran.

Not that they got very far before he knocked them all out and sent a tip to the police, but they did try.

He kinda forgot that Wayne was there till he spoke up a few blocks later.

“I’ve got to hand it to you, McGinnis. I don’t think I’ve ever used that one in my time.”

The man’s statement took a moment to process, but when it did Terry’s grin was back in full force (under the cover, this time.)

“Oh yeah? Well, it’s a good tactic. I fink I fould uve it more often.”

Something that sounded like a snort could be heard over the comms.

“I sincerely hope not.”

“Why not? It could be a part of my  _ image _ . frike fear into va heartf of evil doerv and all that.”

“I don’t think your mother would approve of you running around biting strange criminals.”

“Oh, she doesn’t hafta worry. Vat was abfoloutly  _ difgusting _ . I’m  _ never _ doing vat again.”

“Is that so?”

“Yef! One hundred perfent yef! I can ftill tafte that guy’s blood in my mouth. Eating meat iv  _ not at all the fame _ as biting into a  _ live human being _ . Vey were  _ warm _ and  _ moving _ and, ugh! I am  _ fo _ gonna have nightmarev about vif, B!”

Bruce made a sound that, had it been anyone else, Terry might’ve called it a chuckle. But, since it was Wayne, it was probably safer to assume a snort of incredulity.

“The antidote will be ready soon. Go ahead and get back to work.” said the man, tone noticeably lighter than it had been earlier that night.

Terry grinned again.

“You got it, boss.”

**Author's Note:**

> -rumors of batman being a vamp skyrocket  
> -no hate on actual catboys  
> -ive had this concept for weeks but didn't plan to do anything w it. Then I told @TheCreativeCasseroles abt it, so then of course I had to illustrate it to show them, and then of course while I was queuing up the drawing to post I thought "you could make a crackfic out of this", so then of course that became "/I/ could make a crackfic out of this" and here we are.  
> -my tumblr is also @Theycallme-ook if y'all want to see me obsess over Terry in the visual medium as well.


End file.
